So for those people who like things on the shady side of the street, I put together a list of Xmas films that have a sinister flair. So here we go:
10. Santa Conquers the Martians - Mars needs Santa to deliver toys for Martian girls and boys...so they kidnap him....of course. In all honesty this is a bad film...but in a good way. Grab some libations and some friends and let the heckling begin. Get the Elvira version...she adds a bit of fun to the process.
9. Batman Returns - Nothing says Christmas like a slimy Penguin played by Danny DeVito. The best Batman ever with lots of Tim Burton craziness during the holiday season. Best yet...Christopher Walken.
8. Bad Santa - If you ever wanted to know what happened to those mall Santa after hours...this will fill you in.... and them some. Cynical and crass, yet strangely heartwarming.
7. Ice Harvest - Moral of the story in this film: If you're a lawyer for a mob boss, don't f#@k with him...especially during Xmas. Funny, dark and noire.
6. Sint - What if Sinterklaas (Santa) wasn't such a good guy after all? In fact what if he was a murderous dude from the 1400s who came back ever Dec. 5th if the moon was full. Gotta love a homicidal St Nick riding on horseback over rooftops...miter and all.
5. The Ref - Dennis Leary is a burglar who burgles the wrong house...in particular the home of ever-quarreling couple Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis. Hilarious vitriol.
4. How The Grinch Stole Xmas - Accept no substitutes...the original cartoon only please. Genius on many so many fronts: the art and story of Dr. Suess, the casting Boris Karloff as the narrator, and the Grinch song. Which by the way is sung buy Thurl Ravenscroft. Who's that? Well if you don't know his voice from Disneyland rides such as Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion then you might recognize him as the voice of Tony the Tiger...."He's Great!"
3. Gremlins - If someone gives you a Mogwai for Xmas, three things you must remember 1. Don't expose to bright lights. 2. Don't get wet. 3. Don't ever ever feed after midnight. If you do...well I hope you have good homeowners' insurance.
2. Rare Exports - A group of excavators discover a grave...the grave of Santa. But what if he wasn't the nice guy everyone thought he was? In fact what if he was really a big meanie? A dark jewell from beneath the earth.
1. The Nightmare Before Xmas. Halloweentown needs to get it's mojo back...so the spice things up they kidnap Santa. A classic to be sure...especially for those who have a tough time letting go of Halloween.
Happy Holidays and Merry Krampus!